Without thought

Should I go or not go. Should I go now, or should I wait? Should I take the risk? Is it worth risking? Is there a risk? Am I overreacting? Do we really want this now, or is it only me who wants this as badly? If I wait and take my chances, what are the odds of it being successful? Oh, I don't want to go through it again! Look at them, they have travelled farther than I. Should I want what they have? Should I explore and pursue what I can be? Should I do it now, can I do it later? Will have the same chances I have then? What will they think if I go? Will they think me a coward? Am I just afraid? Am I doing this for myself? Oh! I want to do this for us. How can I know? What should I do? I want to take them away, to make a memory before they leave. Can I afford it now? Will I ever afford it? When I am able, will they be here? How long can they wait? I want to give him something special? What can I get him this year? What does he want? What will mean to him most? Can I afford it? Will I make it? I need to save! God knows the rainy days are coming. Will it be enough? Can we have our family and still be able to take them away? It says I have to complete it. Will I ever complete it? When should I go back? If I go now, can I go back while I wait? They are so wonderful, four little miracles. I want one. Do I want it now? Does God want me to have it now? Why are they treating me like this? What have I ever done to them? Am I a bad person? Do I curse them and wish them ill? Can I withstand it? Am I leaving because of them? Should I take her offer? Should I go for it? Am I qualified for it? Am I ready for another change? Should I do it now? Why can't they understand me? Am I being negative? Have I not been through enough? I am way over my head. Will I survive? Oh, why am I so twisted!