God do not look upon me.
If only I can make myself invisible to You. I dread the times You look upon me, remember my existence and wave your hand in command. Sometimes I lay at night crying, wishing the world will forget. . wishing I could just magically vanish into thin air and never be. Do good things happen when you remember me, Lord? Or is it when You do that things go astray. Oh, why do I think this way?
Perhaps sometimes You feel invisible to me. Do You think I forget when I don’t call? Do You think I care less when I don’t wish You goodnight? Do You think I am comforted more by their words of comfort and pity? Do You wish sometimes I too would look upon You and remember?
Oh God and my twisted sense of understanding!
I know You. I remember. There is no sense in hiding, for you are in me. I do not need my attendance acknowledged in church, for I know You are aware of me, as I am You. I can feel your touch, when I cry. I can see Your face in the eyes of all I love. You wave Your hand not for me to remember. Not because You believe I have forgotten. You look at me with Your proud eyes and shout out to the world – “She will pull through because she is mine!”
Oh, what if one day I do not make it Father? Will you turn Your back on me like my father did? Will you look at me with disgust and forget? Will you ignore me then and never look my way? I will be invisible, as I always wanted.
Invisible and be nothing!
God look upon me. Make my life matter to You and the people that surrounds me. Wave Your hand and be proud. Use me. Test me. Break me. I may not succeed all the time, but I will never give up. My life is Yours. Remember me, oh Lord.
If only I can make myself invisible to You. I dread the times You look upon me, remember my existence and wave your hand in command. Sometimes I lay at night crying, wishing the world will forget. . wishing I could just magically vanish into thin air and never be. Do good things happen when you remember me, Lord? Or is it when You do that things go astray. Oh, why do I think this way?
Perhaps sometimes You feel invisible to me. Do You think I forget when I don’t call? Do You think I care less when I don’t wish You goodnight? Do You think I am comforted more by their words of comfort and pity? Do You wish sometimes I too would look upon You and remember?
Oh God and my twisted sense of understanding!
I know You. I remember. There is no sense in hiding, for you are in me. I do not need my attendance acknowledged in church, for I know You are aware of me, as I am You. I can feel your touch, when I cry. I can see Your face in the eyes of all I love. You wave Your hand not for me to remember. Not because You believe I have forgotten. You look at me with Your proud eyes and shout out to the world – “She will pull through because she is mine!”
Oh, what if one day I do not make it Father? Will you turn Your back on me like my father did? Will you look at me with disgust and forget? Will you ignore me then and never look my way? I will be invisible, as I always wanted.
Invisible and be nothing!
God look upon me. Make my life matter to You and the people that surrounds me. Wave Your hand and be proud. Use me. Test me. Break me. I may not succeed all the time, but I will never give up. My life is Yours. Remember me, oh Lord.
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