Whatever does it mean???

What is the meaning of life? Isn’t that the greatest mystery of being alive! In a very confused stage in my life, I once asked myself that question. I sought the answer in books, even delved into the theory of reincarnation and the afterlife, debated with philosopher wannabes in chatrooms, asked for some clues from the parallel worlds, prayed then repeatedly prayed.

Nothing.

I can easily say that life is about love. I can say life is a never ending pursuit to happiness. Life might as well be a sacrifice. Some literature claims life is a learning stage, a stage where we make ourselves almost close to perfection to be worthy companions in His kingdom. Religion says: this is it! Live and determine your fate. Whatever is the TRUTH, I still don’t know.

To tell you honestly, I have stopped looking for the TRUTH. Whatever it may be, it just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Should I go to hell for being so disinterested? As I said before and I will say it again, I do not fear death.

A very bold and confident statement from someone so . . . a nobody. Yep, a nobody. That’s what I am! I am a nobody, yet I have everything…at least everything that matters. To me, that is.

Another year has passed in my life. Probably the most eventful year I will ever have. A series of ups and downs, and way down below downs. I have experienced everything in the past year -- the excitement of a wedding, the adjustment and responsibility of marriage, the loss of a child, great disappointments and fulfillment in career, exploring the thrill of travel and separation from loved ones. All these in a year! Why can’t life be as it used to be – safe, uneventful and boring!

I guess God did answer my question. . . better yet, He showed me the meaning of life.

OTHERS.

I used to look for meaning within myself. I never thought I’d find it in the people around me. They came as gifts to me. . . . my husband, my parents, my sister, my nieces, my husband’s family, my friends, my cute loving puppies. My life? They are my life. They are the MEANING of my life. I live only for them. You are right, alone, I am nobody. With them, I become somebody.

And so, I again move on to another year. It is terrifying, after the year I’ve been through. At the same time, I am excited! I don’t know why. I don’t know what. God made me a promise last year. Perhaps He’d remember, perhaps not. Should I wave my hands at him to make him notice me? Nah, I’m sure He has it jotted down somewhere in the great universe.

As a nobody, I was full of fear. Now I am a somebody. I will not be waving my hands up at Him alone. I have a small group of people who’d do the same for me. Afterall, they do say. . . “there is strength in numbers.”