I find myself visiting the "Our Lady of Guadalupe" chapel yesterday. After working here for 10 months, yesterday was the first time I ever laid eyes on the magnificent image of Jospeh and the child Jesus together. It's sad to realize I have stayed away from Him for so long, yet I do not feel spiritually empty. Yes, my confusion and depression is beyond words. But to say I have forgotten my faith and turned my back on Him is simply not true.
I think I have mentioned previously in one of my blogs that I just love to bask in the silence and warmth God makes me feel when I am with Him. I have no words, because I have ran out of prayers, or perhaps I simply do not know what to ask or to be thankful for. You are right, perhaps I am screwed.
It's funny how this sudden depression has come over me when everything has fallen into place. When my family is at peace, when my relationship with Myke is at its best, when I have found real friends. Perhaps it is from my disatisfaction with work. I don't know. Is it just stress? All I know is I crave for rest. I wonder how it would feel to take a prolonged vacation, like for a month. To have no care, to have no worries.
To bury myself into the depths of the earth. To be Lestat, minus the blood-drinking.
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