Death of an illusion

Well I think I woke up being nervous. My big phone interview was this afternoon, and I had no idea what kind of questions they would be asking. I guess what made me doubly nervous was that I really wanted to get in. Accenture was an ideal company for me, with my kind of education and experience-wise background.

You could sense I was out of myself the whole day. Some part of me wanted it to be over and done with, yet still some part of me wanted to escape what is to come. Hahaha. . . you can bet I was unproductive as hell at work!!! What did I do all day? I cut tiny pieces of paper strips. . . well ofcourse they had a purpose, but still to spend the whole damn day doing that? Haha! If only my boss knows. . .

Anyway, a few minutes before my interview, I was all flusterred. I felt I was self-combusting!!! I had to pee twice in an hour. . . . Anyway, they called late at around 3:20 p.m.

All my illusions of finally settling for a job I love died during the first minute of that interview. In all honesty, I didn't know if I should feel sad, disappointed, insulted, or angry. They were offering me a position at their Business Processing Outsourcing unit (BPO). She explained that they were considering me for a non-technical position. Big foreign companies were gonna send documents here for analysis and error correction. I mean, what on earth does that mean? And she continues by asking me what do I think data analysis is. . . What the hell!?!? Data analysis could be a lot of things. . . it can be financial analysis. . . it may mean analyzing the business process efficiency of a company. . . then she asks me if I am amendable to a shifting schedule, and further clarifies that it was a contractual position renewable annually. Like, hello??? Why would I, a regular employee in one of the Big 5 US companies, owning blue chip stocks, enjoying a reasonable compensation package even minutely consider transferring to the b.s. job she is offering me?!?! Like my God!

Never in my wildest dreams did the thought of ever rejecting an offer from Accenture ever crossed my mind. What does it take to get a good position in that company? I am not a genius but I can hold my own. . . Hay. . .

After the interview, and after my devastation reached some sense of rest, I started wondering why? I have always believed in God's wisdom. I have always believed that He always has a purpose. Then the answer came to me. I have never been comfortable, and never felt at home in my company, because I've always known, at the back of my head, that I would some day leave. Perhaps, my future does infact belong in 3M. Perhaps, God was telling me to let go of a dream that wasn't meant to be. Maybe. . . I believe it is so.

But still, I found Accenture's offer to me scandalous! Data analyst my ass! Hahahaha. . . .

Anyway, Anj and I met up today. She plans to buy a new external cd-rw. I can't wait 'till pay day. . . Hay, would be so nice to have some money to burn. . . yeah, as if! Anyway, it would be nice to burn all that money on my bills!!! At least, for a while I'd know how it feels to be not in debt. Bwahahaha. . .

Tomorrow, I shall cut more paper! hahaha. . .