A dash to the beginning

Two months, and I am so nearing the beginning of something new. I'm almost to the finish line. So close, I could almost touch the ribbon to victory. There is not one day that passes that I do not think of you. I know now that for the rest of my life, I will be doing the same.

Every day I awaken in a panic, thinking of what else I may have forgotten. Your tie-sides and diapers, caps and mittens, feeding bottles and sterilizer, blankets and towels, crib and mobile... Your room has been painted months ago in bright yellow. Toys have been waiting for you decoratively on top of newly refurbished cabinets and shelves. The old carpets have been thrown out, and in place are clean and shiny granite tiles. Blankets sewn in varying colors... A lot of effort have been put in, by people filled with so much excitement and love... But really, however does one prepare enough for a miracle? All I can hope for is for you to one day look up at me and smile, telling me -- "You did good, mom."

It blows me out of my mind to think of the future. In just two more months, I will be carrying you in my arms! All these unpleasant thoughts running through my mind will soon be forgotten. For nine months, our lives have been put to a halt. It's like living and walking about with our breathes held....in two more months, we resume breathing...we resume living.

Only now we live in a different beginning.