The million things I miss and reasons why I love you so

1. I miss eating Jollibee corned beef breakfast meals with you! As you drive me to work every morning while listening to Chico and Del's Morning Rush on the radio, we never fail to drive through Jollibee to each buy our very own corned beef breakfast meal. I would feed you while you drive, and...well I feed myself. =) Yum yum ...
2. I miss taking baths with you. Remember our water fights? I've been practicing with no water heater at all. So no matter how cold the water is, I am ready! Bring it on! hahaha... How about you?
   
3. I miss our pancit canton meals...3-4 packs of pancit canton calamansi with 2 eggs! Solb!
4. I miss you cooking me breakfast every weekends. Menu: rice, scrambled eggs, corned beef, and hotdogs. This is the icing to my weekends!
5. I miss spending the entire day with you in our condo watching movie marathons or playing Halo/Rainbow Six...we do this without rest and with absolutely no bath!!! For food? Why that's why Sicilian Pizza is so close to our unit! Yum yum again ...
6. I miss you packing my laptop bag for me every morning as I ready myself for work.
7. I miss you charging my gadgets for me 'coz I never did have the patience or enough sense of responsibility to remember doing it for myself.
8. I miss cooking for you and packing breakfast and lunch for you every day.
9. I miss your farts and your barfs...both odorless and stinky.
10. I miss watching Ginebra games with you, whether be it live or on tv. What are the odds of me finding someone as fanatic and as loyal as I am! Though I must say...you are sometimes a disgrace to the Ginebra race. When we are losing we do not close our eyes or change the channel! We watch head on with hope until the very last second. Never say die!!!
11. I miss watching movies with you on their first showing day!
12. I miss going to the supermarket with you...me filling our cart and you taking them all back!
13. I miss us sleeping on the floor in the sala, just because I sleep better there and you do it anyway even though you wake up with a stiff back and neck.
14. I miss you staying awake with me until the wee hours of the night and sometimes even through the following day as I panic to finish my work, just so you can show me your support.
15. I miss packing your luggages for you, folding your shirts carefully. I miss reminding you each time, giving you a rundown of the things you may forget.
16. I miss playing golf with you, with me feeling like a pro for having had only a few lessons to my belt while you having years. I'll always remember the time when we were stranded in the cart being soaked all over while the wind blew hard and the lightnings raged on. Adik!
17. I miss you trying to carry me, though we both know I am too heavy for you! You still try though...
18. I miss hug-dancing with you, with me stepping on your feet.
19. I miss us driving to Tagaytay for no reason at all...well perhaps just to have coffee or dinner at Pancake House. hehehe...
20. I miss our long trips to Baguio or Pagudpud. I would try my best to stay awake (try lang naman eh) to keep you company and most importantly AWAKE!
21. I miss accompanying you to buy your clothes. I always pick the best clothes for you! If I left the picking to you, all your clothes would look the same and BLUE!
22. I miss you making me iced tea...from the many Lipton tea bags I snatched from the office pantry (shhhh...)
23. I miss you sexy dancing to me to cheer me up when I am so down.
    
24. I miss our intimate adventures...some will make interesting stories to tell our children, that is when they are old enough. At least we can proudly say that we've almost done it all! hahahaha...
25. I miss having to tell you..."bibi, utot ka ng utot", "tumae ka kc!", "don't talk bibi...close ur mouth", "Magtutbrush ka kc!" and "labhan mo naman brip mo!" hehehehe...
26. I miss and appreciate it a lot when you call before you go home each day to ask me what I need or what food I want to eat.
    
27. I miss trying to out-think and out-reason you in everything. "Loser!"
28. I miss going to the arcade with you. Just remember one thing...I scored higher when we finally completed Time Crisis 4!!! Loser!
29. I miss you washing the dishes after I cook. You are master of the Joy dishwashing liquid! hehehehe...
    
30. I miss sleeping next to you. There just seems to be no reason to be afraid when you are next to me. I am safe and protected.
31. I miss the overpowering smell of your perfume. I absolutely do not know what is wrong with your smelling powers when you have got such a big nose! You do not have to bathe yourself with your perfume!
    
32. I miss hearing you snore, no matter how hard you deny it...I will get my evidence!
    
33. I miss saying how much I love you, and hearing you tell me you love me too. (well, face to face that is...kc we still do pro over the net is just not the same)
    
34. I miss being with you...doing whatever, wherever.
35. I miss loving you and taking care of you.
    
36. I miss you, PERIOD!

A million more reasons to follow…

Too much hormones

We have wanted this for so long. We have dreamt and waited, prayed and prayed some more. God has heard our pleas and now, 4 months later, our little angel is swimming and kicking, dancing in his/her own little fish bowl inside me. It is a dream come true, and yet it is not quite the way we've always pictured it. I am here, and you are 3 and a half hours away by plane.

They all say that pregnancy is hard. I must say being pregnant and alone is a million times harder. Enduring the surge of all-day sickness was a cinch! Now halfway through my miracle, I am plagued with disturbing dreams, anxiety, doubt, insecurity and fear of the many unknowns that lie ahead of me. I find comfort in feeling our little angel move, doing his routine somersaults...each time I want to cry in joy and yet when I turn to my side there is no one to share my relief. There are days when I feel short bursts of pain, and there is no arm I can hang on to for comfort. Nights of unrelenting headaches are no exception, and yet I find no hands massaging the pain away but my own. I want to take monthly photos of myself as my belly grows, but there is a telling sadness in my smile that I want to hide.

In the next coming months, I will be facing more unknowns and I am terrified. Will I remain alone as i fight for our child's life and my own? Each day that passes, I begin to ask myself if all our sacrifices are worth it. What is the use of sacrificing when we are not realizing the dream that we have so longed for? Is it really worth missing the most magical part of God's miracle? I don't know anymore, perhaps these are mere illogical thoughts coming from a woman pumped up with too much hormones.