Half yet Whole

This is the longest we've been apart since the day we met. I feel like walking in a dream, only half conscious of what is happening around me, and experiencing life as if from a parallel world. I am only half a person without you. I lay awake late at night afraid of my dreams, tossing and turning, praying for sleep. And when sleep finally does arrive, it is only when I imagine myself nudging you awake in the middle of night and you taking me into your protective arms, comforting me, making all the nightmares and worries go away. In this time of great worry and anticipation, oh how I need you! I know I must be strong now. I must not succumb to my loneliness. There is only room for great joy and thanksgiving for finally God has seen as worthy to take on the greatest responsibility there is in life!

I must put this down, every single event and feeling must be well documented. But how can I? How can I write with only half a soul? Hurry back love, before everything slips from my memory. . .

. . .
09/20/08
I saw you for the second time today love, and I was in a panic. Oh, how you've grown from the last picture we took of you! You're really there! You have a big head still, and doc says she sees two arms and two legs. You are still too little for us to know if you are male or female...but mommy and daddy do not care. You are alive and you are well! That's all that matters. All the while that we were watching you, mommy was holding her breathe. I was so afraid love, I said my silent prayer..."make her heart beat"...and you heart did! I think I have never been so afraid before, your beating heart was enough to make my own heart beat stronger and now with greater purpose. Oh how I wish daddy could be here for he will surely cry from great happiness!